80s Fashion Coming Back: From Collars to Shimmels

We all hate popped collars. We all hate the people who wear popped collars. Yet, somehow, the rebirth of this 1980s fashion statement remains popular with many bags of douche. I can understand how popped collars were cool in the 80s (along with stonewash denim, way too many bracelets and the "mandana"), but today...come on. You gotta know how lame that is.



The only guys that can maintain my respect while sporting the popped collar are astronauts. If that's not a popped collar, I don't know what is.




The inspiration for this post came from this guy. You don't see the shimmel much anymore. For those of you who may not remember, a shimmel is a style of shirt made popular by the Chicago Bears in the 1980s that doesn't cover the male midriff.

But check out the model! Note the grizzly beard, "I don't give a damn" hair and blatant disregard for the establishment. I admire him. Society tells us that we should have to wear a shirt that covers the entire torso...that our bellybuttons, are an eyesore. As a man, I know the pain of having hair from my Love Trail ripped from my flesh by a minor buttoning accident. When I look at this picture I see freedom. I see pride. I see power. I see one badass mutha who don't take no crap off of nobody!

I say it's time we stop the senseless suffering. Today. Men of America rise up and be worthy of this historical hour! Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme, get on up it's Shimmel Time!

If you want to be as cool as this guy, you can buy your shimmel here.

PS I know this has nothing to do with American Gladiators, but then again, neither do I.

I'm Excited

American Gladiators Commercial

This gives me goosebumps.

January 6...apparently a giant Q-Tip war will take place. Just FYI, the actual name for these are called pugil sticks. Soldiers used pugil sticks for bayonet training back in the day.

No News is Good News

Yep, I'm still alive. Sorry, my dear viewers, for the prolonged absence. But to be honest, there hasn't been too much to write about. The entire process has been slow and painful, kind of like this fun video:


Old Man Falls Up Escalator - Watch more free videos


I hope I die right before I get that old. OK, anyway... here are some of the major Gladiator updates:

1. QUALLS IS NOT OUT OF CONTENTION!!!!!!! We received a phone call about a week and a half ago from the producers, so we know they're still reviewing the video we submitted.

2. The Writers' Strike has screwed up the timeline for all new shows being made. I know what you're thinking, "There are WRITERS, for American Gladiators?" But you gotta understand, writers are absolutely necessary. How would the commentators know whether to say "good hit" or "great hit"? When Zap knocks the hell out of someone in breakthrough and conquer, you think Hulk Hogan will instinctively shout "You've been ZAPped!" Hell no. It takes some real creativity to instill the heart and sincerity that was prevalent in the earlier shows.

3. Most importantly, I now have a super nintendo with the American Gladiators game. It's amazing. It's really difficult though. I was playing it for hours with no success. When I handed Chris the controller, the damn thing exploded. It was crazy cool, I looked down and there was no more controller, only a small green goo. He Qualls-ed it.

DEFINITION:

Qualls--Verb (kwals): 1. to reduce (an object) to useless fragments, a useless form, or remains, as by rending, hurling, lifting, power-bombing, or overpowering.

2. It can also mean to poop. As in "I just Quallsed." or "After this Thanksgiving dinner, I'm gonna have to take a huge Qualls."

Just For Fun

This has absolutely nothing to do with Chris or American Gladiators, but I thought you might like it.

What the hell were they thinking?

No joke. In January 1995 Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band released their forgettable album, Hulk Rules. In this record, Hulk conquers Techno, Rap, and (thankfully) power ballads. The album contained such classics as "Hulkster's Back," "Beach Patrol,""Hulk Rules," and my personal favorite "Hulkster in Heaven."

Cadenced and vibrant with feeling, "Hulkster in Heaven" tells the story of a terminally ill British boy who couldn't make it to the arena to see the Hulkster. The song captures the listener with lines like "I used to tear my shirt, but now you've torn my heart," and "I'll see you again when the Hulkster comes to Heaven, we'll tag up again." The song also utilizes the under-appreciated Synthesized Saxophone better (or worse) than anything I've ever heard. Listen to this song, it is incredibly moving.

Another unforgettable line comes from the hit, "Wrestling Boot Traveling Band." Hulk sings, "Always go swimming with a buddy, work real hard and always study." If only I would have heard that in 1995! My life would be exponentially better.


How did I never know about this? The album is currently available for $4.33 from Amazon, maybe someone should buy it. It has got to be a masterpiece. Let's see if we can generate enough internet buzz to convince the Wrestling Boot Band to do a reunion tour. I'll see you at the show.

-Scott

Mike Adamle --> Todd Chrisensen --> Larry Csonka --> HULK HOGAN???

That's right fans, it looks like Hulk Hogan will be the new host of the revised American Gladiators. Mr. Nanny himself will become the spokesperson of what is undoubtedly the most anticipated show coming out his midseason. Is there cause for concern? I think so.

Look Hulk, I know you have a semi-successful show on VH1. Good for you. I guess the money from Thunder in Paradise has finally runout. Must have used all the reserve money from the cameos on Walker, Texas Ranger (Boomer Knight who stopped gang violence in the inner-city? Anybody? Anybody?)

Maybe I'm being too hard on the Hulkster, he's a good enough guy. It's just tough to picure the show without Adamle. Who is my ideal choice? Jack Bauer, but he is unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified.

You can read the entire article about Hulk becoming the announcer here.


-Scoot