Yep, I'm still alive. Sorry, my dear viewers, for the prolonged absence. But to be honest, there hasn't been too much to write about. The entire process has been slow and painful, kind of like this fun video:
Old Man Falls Up Escalator - Watch more free videos
I hope I die right before I get that old. OK, anyway... here are some of the major Gladiator updates:
1. QUALLS IS NOT OUT OF CONTENTION!!!!!!! We received a phone call about a week and a half ago from the producers, so we know they're still reviewing the video we submitted.
2. The Writers' Strike has screwed up the timeline for all new shows being made. I know what you're thinking, "There are WRITERS, for American Gladiators?" But you gotta understand, writers are absolutely necessary. How would the commentators know whether to say "good hit" or "great hit"? When Zap knocks the hell out of someone in breakthrough and conquer, you think Hulk Hogan will instinctively shout "You've been ZAPped!" Hell no. It takes some real creativity to instill the heart and sincerity that was prevalent in the earlier shows.
3. Most importantly, I now have a super nintendo with the American Gladiators game. It's amazing. It's really difficult though. I was playing it for hours with no success. When I handed Chris the controller, the damn thing exploded. It was crazy cool, I looked down and there was no more controller, only a small green goo. He Qualls-ed it.
DEFINITION:
Qualls--Verb (kwals): 1. to reduce (an object) to useless fragments, a useless form, or remains, as by rending, hurling, lifting, power-bombing, or overpowering.
2. It can also mean to poop. As in "I just Quallsed." or "After this Thanksgiving dinner, I'm gonna have to take a huge Qualls."
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